It's been almost two months...

My folks were up this weekend. It's been almost two months since they saw Elias. Things they noticed:

1. He's grown
2. He's beautiful
3. Various permutations on 2.






Things I have noticed:

1. If someone complements Elias I take it as a direct complement to me.

This is worrying since anyone who has read American Pastoral will know that having one's own personal identity too wrapped up in that of your child and their successes in failures is the sure route to disappointment and madness. Oops. Too late.

Anyway had a good weekend, my parents stayed in a hotel in Kings Cross and managed to avoid:

1. Being propositions by crack-addled whores
2. Being sold crack
3. Being mugged
4. Being shouted at by drunks
5. Catching a train

It's quite an achievement to be in King's Cross and do none of the above.

Went up to Hampstead Heath both yesterday and today and ate good food and well I'm now getting boring. Over and out...


**
Ce weekend les parents de Paul etaient la. Ca faisait 2 mois qu'ils n'avaient pas vu Elias! et...bien sure ils l'on trouve grandi, beau, adorable, magnifique etc.etc....Elias adore les compliments et nous encore plus!!! ;) - Ils lui on offert un mobile pour son siege de voiture - 3 petits chiens dont un s'appelle Jo! A part ca nous sommes alles au Parc (hamstead Heath) puis on a mange d'excellents repas prepares par Paul! Yum!

Moi j'ai toujours peu de voix, par moments pas de voix!! J'ai besoin de 8hrs de sommeil de suite je crois pour me remettre!

A part la nuit passee! Elias a recemment (durant 3 nuits!)passe des nuits un peu plus longues, c'est-a-dire a peu pres 5hrs de sommeil de suite...--Oh, je viens d'entendre sur le moniteur qui nous permet d'entendre quand Elias se reveil, que ca petite boite a music (un elephant en peluche!) s'est mise en marche toute seule (cela sans reveiller Elias!)!

A bientot

Vendredi soir a Hillmarton Road

....enfin quelqu'un a montre de l'interet pour notre appart!!! ourrraaahh...meme si que ca...c'est mieux que rien! et qui sait? peut-etre que enfin on va pouvoir vivre ailleurs!! ...

a part ca...c'est vendredi soir! je suis morte de fatigue et j'ai toujours extremement mal a la gorge! Elias lui est en forme! La il dort depuis 19h! - Moi je reve de...8hrs de sommeil de suite, un massage, une pedicure, des nouvelles fringues et....pleins de sourires d'Elias!



Ma prof de Pilates m'a envoye un tres gentil mail entre autre pour me dire que c'est pas grave si Elias ne dort pas toute la nuit encore - a la fin, tous les bebes dorment la nuit!

Ce soir je disais a Paul que j'ai l'impression qu'il y a peu de jours ou je ne me soucie pas de quelque chose! Aujourd'hui par exemple Elias a beaucoup pleure...et je ne suis pas sure du pourquoi...il y a quelques jours je me faisais du souci concernant sa toux, puis il y quelques semaines concernant ses candidas, puis etc.etc.etc....J'imagine que c'est normal (dites moi les mamans?? est-ce normal de se faire tant de souci???)..

Voila, je vais aller dormir je crois.

Morning Ritual

Mornings go a bit like this currently. Wake up whatever time is determined by Elias' dice roll. Play with him. Get up. Put music on that I want to hear, so this morning David Bowie - Aladdin Sane loud enough so that I can hear it in shower and kitchen. Make Stefanie honey and ginger 'tea'. Make breakfast. Then switch the music to the Getz/Gilberto album ... yes, every day the same album ... which usually results in Elias falling asleep. He's been digging this music so much we will have to take him to Brazil one day. I half expect my friend Joe to end up living there so maybe we'll have a guide.

The Opposite of Yesterday

Yesterday I told about the unexpected lie-in; today I tell of the opposite. This morning Elias woke at 5am, and played, and didn't go back to sleep ... until I was just dragging my tired self out the door to work. Thanks Elias. It turns out he then barely slept all day so there was no opoortunity for Stefanie to catch up. Needless to say, Elias willing, there is an early night on the horizon.

Monday morning

Strange start to the day. Elias woke us up soon after 6am. Turned the alarm clock off. I played with him and the snail and his mobile friends Billy, Bumble and Armstrong for a while. When he wanted a feed we took him into our bed...

Then, all of a sudden, I woke up and it was 8:20 and Stefanie and Elias were still asleep. Did the ready-for-work processes in 30 mins, which involved skipping breakfast, and dashed out the door.

That's the first time that has happened since Elias has been born. Still, a bonus hour of kip is ideal.

weekend!

ourraah! pour les weekends!! mais ils sont toujours trop courts!

Cette derniere semaine a ete plutot calme, a nous soigner! Elias et moi avions une grosse creve! Elias une grosse toux et moi un mal de gorge incroyable (qui n'est toujours pas fini!) - C'est la premiere fois en 3 ans que je suis malade! -- je crois que le surplus de fatigue n'aide pas. Bref, ca ete une grosse crise de peur pour moi (pauvre Elias qui toussait comme un fou et une toux tres forte de gros malade! ca fait peur! mais apres avoir parle avec mon amie Nicole qui m'a rassure que ca arrive et qu'en effet c'etait aussi arrive a son bb de 2 mois et qu'elle priait le bon Dieu pour ne pas lui prendre son fils, j'ai reussi a me calmer un peu car avant ca je faisais pareil!) mais, nous sommes maintenant remis.

Elias se reveille toujours env. 2 fois pas nuit - c'est-a-dire, 3hr et 5hr...je ne parle pas de minuit et 6h ou 7h...Ca commence a etre dure pour Paul et pour moi aussi d'ailleurs - surtout quand on est malade, c'est tres dure de se lever la nuit!

Aujourd'hui pour la premiere fois nous avons emmenes Elias au marche de Marylebone! Il avait l'air tres content de cette sortie! Les yeux tres curieux il regardait partout! Il a recu pleins de compliments aussi!

x

Friday October 21st

Comfortable?

Is this really a comfortable sleeping position?

When you try and put Elias to sleep and make him really comfortable it can take ages for him to go down. But give him free rein and he'll put himself to sleep in only the most uncomfortable positions. Sigh..

Tough

It was a really tough weekend and I was away on Saturday playing a concert on the South coast. Not enough sleep and gradually becoming more and more fraught as Elias developed a hacking cough on top of his allergic style breathing, and Stefanie developed a cold too which was quite alarming since in the three years I've known her she has never had a cold.

Anyway last night was a pretty good night's sleep. I mean less interrupted. But it did end at about 5am when Elias thought the sun should come up. I thought so too and opened the blind, but the sun didn't actually rise until 7am. When it did it looked fabulous. In fact, like this...

You can't quite see it but by the crane is the new Arsenal stadium.

*************

Quel weekend! donc avec Elias qui a attrape une de ces creves! deja qu'il respire toujours un peu comme si il a le nez bouche! (parait-il normal chez les bebes!) mais la, par contre il a une toux a decrocher les tableaux! Donc weekend crevant! puis moi aussi j'ai la creve! Ca n'aide pas! Changer les "pampers" plein de caca a 2h, 3h, 4h du mat quand t'as la creve c'est pas la joie! et en ce moment Elias a l'habitude de pondre un petit caca juste quand je viens de lui nettoyer les fesses! Alors on recommence!! hahahaaaarrrggghhh.....

Aujourd'hui tout va mieux - moi la folle je suis retournee chez le Dr juste pour checker ses bronches etc. tout est normal - et moi...j'ai la gorge en feu mais...Elias va mieux c'est ce qui compte!

La photo si dessus - apres avoir dormi toute la journee hier (il est malade)! Elias nous a reveille ce matin a 5h avec de grands sourires!!

bises

More on snails

Text from my friend Chris Heywood:

"He (Isaac, his son) likes that same snail as Elias does!"

Readers

The snail

At any opportunity Elias will stare at this picture of a snail...

Endlessly...

13/10/05

Breastfeeding Mother Sculpture

Gutted I missed this for Stefanie's birthday, but in the National Childbirth Trust Catalogue (don't ask!) they have a 38 quid bronze-effect sculpture of a mother breastfeeding a baby. I quote... A beautiful and timeless image of womanhood and motherhood - a gift that is a bit different and something rather special. I can't believe anyone would buy that! Anyway I dug around in Google and found a pic of it for you :)


Now I see it in this blog, isolated from all the other for you and your baby items on the page, it doesn't look so bad. No... actually... imagine it in a living room... It's awful.

Birthday Colic Dawn

Last night I had insisted that Stefanie's birthday did not start at one minute after midnight but my bluff was called when Elias woke us up for dawn...

It's been a tough 3 days with him crying more than before and it's not always been clear why. We're both pretty shattered and today just compounded it with little chance to sleep and steadily worsening crying fits through the day. Not all the time but, on top of sleep deprivation, enough to start to drive you crazy.

Upsides of the day - I made a pumpkin tart with maple syrup, Stefanie liked her present (phew) and the weather was glorious which made for a great walk on the Heath. The big chair and table was being deconstructed today and the workmen, next to the oversize furniture, looked like an army of doozers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraggle_Rock#Doozers .

Happy Birthday to me!!....aie! ... Je suis crevee (on est creve!!) mais pas parce qu'on a foire mais, ce weekend Elias a eu des colliques! Hier soir (+ ce soir) a ete la pire jusqu'a ce que je trouve un remede homeopatique pour aider! Ce matin on etait debout a ...4hr (moi 3hr) et depuis on a pas dormi! Elias a beaucoup pleure le pauvre! Que c'est dure de voir ce petit bonhomme se tortiller comme ca, et entre autre a cause des aliments que je mange....(poids, aubergines, tomates, pommes de terre!) - depuis aujourd'hui j'essaye d'eviter tout ca pour voir si ca change quelque chose! j'espere vraiment! - J'imagine que cela nous prepare pour la continuation des maladies d'enfance ! oh ! que ca doit etre dure ou ...s'habitue-t-on???

A part ca...j'ai recu de tres beaux cadeaux aujourd'hui! une superbe jaquette en cashmere de Paul puis des boucles d'oreilles (qui ne peuvent pas faire mal a Elias quand il frotte ses joues contres les miennes (ses oreilles je devrais dire) -- puis de jolis cadeaux de ma maman aussi. (il y a encore un cadeau qui m'attend je crois mais il est a la poste!!! ) - voila.

Je vais me coucher afin de retrouver mon teint de 20ans!! hahahaaaaaaa....

Mon anniversaire!

Elias a eu 2 mois jeudi et moi...c'est mon anniversaire demain! et...c'est un long weekend pour nous car Paul a conge demain pour celebrer ce "grand" jour!

D'habitude, a mon anniversaire, je pense beaucoup! a ma vie, travail, amour, finances, etc.etc....Cette annee, je me sens totalement comblee! Tout est la, autours de moi! C'est le bonheur! c'est mon anniversaire tout les jours!

..a part que...on en revient aux 'colliques' - Elias a des colliques! aaarggghh...depuis 2 jours le pauvre, a l'air de souffrir enormement pendant environ 10-15min une ou 2 fois par jour! Finalement ce soir j'ai lu sur un site les aliments a eviter!!...hmmm..alors, ail, oignon, tomate, aubergine, poivrons, pois, pommes de terre...cafe/the/etc bien sure - mais en ce qui concerne les aliments..ces derniers sont ce que je mange tres regulierement! en particulier ces 2 ou 3 derniers jours..ratatouille, couscous vegetariens, salade de pommes de terre et tout cela avec ail et oignon! oh nonnnnnnn....Je suis entrain de boire du the de fenouille, camomille pour essayer d'adoucir tout ca! (puis nous avons aussi trouve un remede homeopatique qui a eu peut-etre de l'effet car la Elias dort doucement depuis 3.5hrs).

Big byzoux

Saturday October 8th

In the post...

Two months old today

Two months have flown by. The bit of routine we have is that Stefanie puts him to bed at 7pm - feed, nappy change, clothes change, resume feed, bed. He's normally asleep by 8 or half past.

I was in John Lewis today to buy a mobile for him. Most of them were so hateable with their buttons to press to hear monophonic Mozart or Bach, and big creatures swiming like they'd been hanged. Bought him a very simple one that suspends high-contrast images that you can swap around. It was funny to be back in the baby bit of John Lewis and see pregnant women wandering around wondering what they need to buy. That was us not so long ago...

Mid-week blues

Normally I leave work in the evening and walk into Piccadilly Circus and think how great it is to be in central London. Today I could not believe I had turned down the job in Paris back in July. I've never needed weekends as much as I do now and if we'd moved to Paris we'd have rented in the city and spent the money from London flat on a country house. Weekends in the French countryside ... oh yes. Anyway no discernible reason for those feelings today cos work's fine, but it disipated when I got home and witnessed a sight that brought me great joy. Elias, when lying on his front, can now life his head up and look around. Fantastic!

Him

I love his smile and I love his smell and the way his eyes look around following everything.
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J'aime son sourire, son odeur, la facon dont ces yeux suivent tout ce qui se passe!!...waow! il est 20:42...apres avoir essaye 3x de le mettre dans son lit...enfin, il s'est endormi! Des jours c'est plus facile que d'autres!! en ce moment c'est dure!....Ce soir en particulier, car il n'a pas dormi cet apres-midi (au cours massage pour bb Yoga pour maman)...c'est endormi a 16:30 puis...on dirait que ca nuit a commence la! Oui je sais...erreur! il faut faire ca autrement, mais, comment? le reveiller??...bref...

Ma maman est partie hier! on a passe quelques jours ensemble super! J'ai recu plein d'habits pour l'hiver pour Elias ainsi que des tricots fait par ma maman qui sont super mignons! Il va certainement avoir chaud cet hiver!

La bonne nouvelle est que, Elias n'a pas de "candida" (thrush)! Dommage que ca ait prit tant de temps pour le savoir mais, vaut mieux tard que jamais!!! -

Elias aura 2 mois vendredi--

Je vais me coucher! je suis morte de fatigue! Elias se reveille toute les 2hrs la nuit!

byzoux

Fish n Chips

I feel like I haven't seen enough of Elias this week. His distracting ways are making it hard for me to get to work on time. In the evening, when I get home, Stefanie is usually putting him to bed and I see him intermittently during the nocturnal wake-ups.

I was putting him in his portable cot thingy today and noticed that where once he looked tiny in there, he now is almost filling it. Where his hands just used to move about aimlessly they grab and point.

He's eight weeks today.

We went up to Hampstead Heath at dusk. What a great time to go up there. The sky was beautiful after rain. There were geese and fishermen with their tents by the ponds and very few other people.

It's Stefanie's mother's last night here tonight which means we eat a l'anglais ... fish and chips from Holloway Road's finest "traditional" fish n chip shop. Bet you wish you were dining round here tonight...